Yesterday, thousands of Gmail users were warned of an online phishing scam capable of screwing up their entire lives. If you were one of the smart ones who didn’t click on that Google Doc invitation, great stuff. You’re not dumb. If you weren’t so slick, don’t sweat it. Below is a list of everyone else who shares in your grief and got their private information hacked sold to the highest bidder. We also included a rating after each to signify the level of how much you should care about the victim.
Your aunt on Facebook: Now this one may seem a little sad but it’s not like she had anything of value on there. All she ever used it for was to post way too revealing info on her newsfeed and, of course, to flirt with her old high school fling while her husband was drinking excessively in the living room. Think of it this way, she may be completely screwed but now you can unfriend her without feeling that awkward guilt when you see her at the next family function. [4/10]
That girl you swiped left on Tinder: She was the worst. Just based on that first picture you could tell she smelled. You’re not usually this judgmental but, come on, who would make their default a picture of them with a whole apple in their mouth? What are they implying? Everyone knows they’re not going to find their soulmate via Tinder but at least give us something to work with. [1/10]
That guy from high school who’s now in real estate for some reason: This guy was dumb as bricks in school. You were no honor student, but you could at least handle basic math. How do people like this sell houses when they couldn’t even find every corner in a square room? At this point their lives couldn’t get any more lame. A hack was probably even exciting. In fact, the hacker probably logged right out after realizing who this guy was. In my head, I rationalize the hacker as someone with some semblance of a brain, so seeing this guy’s LinkedIn would have probably been enough to realize he’s not the greatest investment. [0/10]
If we find anymore victims I’ll be sure to keep you updated. Until then, you can breath easy because although you may have been hacked, at least you’re not any of these three. Great job with that one.