Pot Brownie

Middle Schooler Eats Pot Brownie, Goes Missing

I’ll be real for a second, I definitely was not into the weed game when I was in middle school – what can I say I was a late bloomer. I specifically remember a Friday night, I must have been in 6th or 7th grade, I had just seen a movie with a bunch of friends (I want to say it was Ace Ventura 2), when one of my friends asked me “hey you wanna smoke some weed?”  I was so mortified by the proposition, thinking I would turn into some type of drug addict on my first puff.

Middle Schooler Eats Pot Brownie
“I’ll take 17 orders of your finest crab rangoon”

I passed on grass that night, no doubt thanks to my immersion in D.A.R.E. class at the time.  Nonetheless, I’ve done some really dumb shit when I’m high.  Things like: leaving weed crumbs on the bathroom counter that my mom found, smoking out my dorm room stinking up the ENTIRE hallway (my college had a one-strike marijuana policy), ordering $78.49 worth of Chinese food half of which was crab rangoon, going to see Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull (which I’d tactfully describe as dog shit smeared on 122 minutes worth of digital film), and the list really goes on for quite a lot more.

Middle Schooler Eats Pot Brownie
Post-production of the new Indiana Jones Movie

So it definitely isn’t shocking, but definitely IS hilarious to hear that a Northglenn, Colorado middle schooler ate a pot brownie and went missing for several hours.  The boy’s father became worried after he did not return home from school, but was relieved to eventually find his son a few blocks from their house.  The kid was largely unharmed except for a few cuts and scrapes and a bump on his head – I can only imagine what terrifying imaginary monster the boy was running from.  The boy was also missing his glasses, backpack and bike.  My guess: he pawned those motherfuckers off for some pizza, a Slurpee, and something fuzzy to touch, respectively.

Middle Schooler Eats Pot Brownie
Hide yo’ wife, hide yo’ kids, hide yo’ weed – Terrifying Weed Monster

But on a serious note, this is not really good news for marijuana advocates.  This case alone will not set back the progress the marijuana movement has made, but certainly repeated instances of minors ingesting marijuana will harm the cause.  I actually feel bad for this kid.  Sure he will look back on this day and laugh his ass off, but he was probably really scared and embarrassed.  

– Willy Blunts | Instagram | Facebook | Twitter

Read More: 9News Colorado

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