Colorado to Pay Researchers $300,000 a Year to Study Marijuana

Every stoner has a dream and that dream is to get paid to smoke weed and play video games all day. While this new job opening Colorado falls slightly short of that “professional video game tester” dream, it’s definitely the next best thing.

Colorado has $2.4 million from tax dollars that the state’s Health Department will invest directly into research and studies about the health effects of marijuana consumption. And they’re offering two different grants to researchers–one that pays $300,000 a year for three years and one that pays $100,000 a year for two years–to literally study marijuana’s awesomeness:

The purpose and intent of this grant program is to fund scientific research that will address selected priority research gaps identified by the RMPHAC regarding the general health effects of marijuana use in Colorado’s population.

The state is interested in finding out things like:

  • The health effects, both on mother and child, of marijuana use by pregnant women.
  • The factors that contribute to teens’ decisions to use marijuana.
  • The mental and physical health effects of increasing THC potency.
  • The differences in health outcomes between heavy and less frequent marijuana consumers.

Unfortunately, unless you’re a scientist or doctor at a hospital or university, you probably won’t qualify for this grant. And since these studies appear to be rather serious, those scientists will probably not be getting high on the job.

Personally, I’d like to see a study that proves whether or not marijuana actually lowers one’s sperm count and sex drive (prob not), and I’d like to see the true effect of legalization on Colorado’s overall fitness levels (the thinking: it’s still one of the more active states in America).

And ideally, all of these studies should actually involve people smoking weed.  Cause how can you study the health effects of marijuana if you don’t literally see people smoking it?

Initial Applications are due by July 22. If you make the cut, you then have to fill out a more detailed proposal by September 30 before the grants are doled out in November.

You can view the rules here and if you happen to land this very well-paid gig hopefully you can convince the state to give you some test products to really get to know your subject matter.

 

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