Pokémon Go Has Now Led to Felony Marijuana Arrests

A week ago police were mistaking Pokémon Go players for drug dealers. Now, police are busting up peaceful Pokémon smoke sessions.

A bunch of drug-riddled Pokémon Go-ing threats to society were playing with fire (hotboxing their cars) while they hunted for Pokémon and at least two got arrested by doing so. In Miami, a simple solo midnight sesh got Charzared up when cops rolled up on a modern Ash Catchem:

As the police came over and checked him out, he rolled down the window — a cloud of marijuana smoke appeared to come out of the car, which aroused the cops interests, and in questioning, he indicated he was in the park looking for Pokémon.

This guy wasn’t just smoking up, though. He was supplying other Pokémon hunters with weed:

cops found a medium sized zip-lock back with marijuana in it, they also found multiple clear small empty baggies, a scale and a grinder. [WSVN]

Maybe this guy–who got a felony for this–was just using Pokémon Go as an alibi. Still, it’s become an epidemic: another man smoking weed at a church in Niagara, New York at 2:32 am in the morning was busted basically the same way when

a deputy pulled in behind the parked vehicle and spoke with the driver and passenger. They told the officer they were playing the Pokémon Go game, however, while interviewing the two occupants of the vehicle, the deputy could smell marijuana. [Lockport Journal]

Translation: it’s only a matter of time before this police aggression towards stoned Pokémon catchers turns into a crisis and revolution. Cause what started out as stoned video game meet-ups has quickly fallen down a slippery slope.

Pokémon Go gets people to go outside. When you like playing video games, you like smoking weed.

When you leave your house to smoke weed, you naturally increase your odds of getting arrested for smoking weed by a gazillion. Thus, when you play Pokémon Go and simply can’t wait to blaze until after you locate Squirtle, you are playing with water fire.

Then there’s sirens and then you’re fucked.

Yeah, it’s a little ironic that the first video game to get stoners off their couches and out into the real world is now getting people arrested for socializing with actual people. But it’s not really a surprise when you consider Pokémon are so omnipresent that they’re literally hanging out by dispensaries and causing people to go places they’d normally never go..

Pokémon probably witness thousands of crimes a day, but they may have just begun NARCing on stoners. Pokémon are shifty creatures*, and chasing these shifty creatures is clearly a dangerous game.

Because #AllPokémonLivesMatter

*Have you ever played with Pikachu in Smash Brothers? Top 5 characters easily and a pain in the ass to chase down.

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