“Good People Don’t Smoke Weed” Says U.S. Senator

Senator Chuck Grassley looks a lot like the Lizard from Spider-Man and also has some really funny views on weed.

Well, mainly one: that it should be illegal because it’s for bad, bad people!  Here’s what he had to say at a recent hearing about our people:

It was the prevention movement that really was so positive, and it led to this decline. The creating of knowledge that this drug is dangerous, it cannot be played with, it is not funny, it’s not something to laugh about, and trying to send that message with clarity, that good people don’t smoke marijuana. 

That would mean Whoopi Goldberg is not a good person which no one is ever buying. That would mean The Beatles, Bob Marley, and Bill Murray are not good people. The list goes on.

If this was satire, Senator Grassley nailed it. The funny thing is this guy is dead serious. He’s the type of yellow-skinned guy that chain-smokes cigarettes and streams underage Taiwanese porn but draws the line at weed.

The beauty of weed, nay, the purpose of weed is laughter. We smoke the stuff to be happy. To help us forget our problems and people’s’ names that we don’t really care to remember. Like anything in life, smoking weed is a distraction. It distracts us from politics, bullshit, and over-the-hill Senators with no grasp on reality.

Yes, some bad people do smoke weed (see: Aaron Hernandez), but generally, it’s for the good guys. Let’s keep it that way.

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