Last night’s game felt stoners versus drunks. Clemson were the hip, slick stoners dodging the drunk, monstrous savages that ‘Bama breeds. In the end, the team with a coach named Dab-o took down the team with a coach who quite likely has never touched the devil’s lettuce/is the devil.
And they did it in style. DeShaun Watson threw for a fitting 420 yards, a new CFB Championship record:
Now can someone please direct him to the nearest 7-11 for some Visine. Those tears of joy/anticipating his post-game bong rip aren’t going to wipe themselves.